How to Adopt a Dog in NYC

No family is complete without a canine, and New York is a great place to be a dog owner.

  1. We all know pitbulls are the greatest dogs. They are snuggly nannies who have been slandered in the media. Such slander has led to these sleepy goobers being banned from many apartment buildings. If you are adopting a pitbull, it is your moral and ethical responsibility to only ever live in buildings that accept pitties. You may never adopt a pitbull and then abandon it because you want to move somewhere that doesn’t take pits. That’s the first rule, and it applies to all dogs who are typically breed discriminated. Never adopting a dog is better than adopting and abandoning a dog. Don’t be a jackass to your dog.
  2. Adopt, don’t shop! New Yorkers love to adopt dogs, and there are innumerable awesome rescue organizations. We used Hearts and Bones to find our pup. You can learn more about them in “Second Chances” the sixth episode of the Netflix docuseries Dogs.
  3. Peruse your chosen rescue org’s website while drinking wine. The dog that makes you cry the most is the dog you’re meant to adopt. Probably.
  4. Attend an adoption event. The scared dog that won’t look anyone in the eye but crawls into your lap is definitely the dog you’re meant to adopt.
  5. Pay an absolutely insane amount of money for your new best friend!
  6. If your new pal is too big to ride the Subway with you (ie: doesn’t fit in a bag) you’ll need to request a ride, then call your driver until you find one who doesn’t mind dogs in their car. Keep requesting, calling, and repeating until someone agrees.
  7. Brace yourself for many delightful encounters with Central Park Dog Moms.

Congrats on living your best life, you brand new dog owner!

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